Special Thanks to the LDS Church

I grew up a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormon. I learned to be obedient, submissive, meek, humble... attributes that in general did not come naturally.

But the Gospel was taught seriously in my home, as my father leveraged scripture against us if we misbehaved. "It's not a question of who's right, but what's right," was a common phrase of his.

He would also tell us the natural man is an enemy to God, and that pride was the greatest sin. 

You see, my father was a man of God. He worked for the Church Education System, teaching salvation and redemption to the high school aged members of the church in Seminary, as well as college aged members in the Institute program.

He was well versed in scripture and a powerful teacher. He had a knack for perfectly timed questions and thought provoking stories.

So it's no wonder, then, that after a day of preaching and testifying, he would come home to his wife and six children and no longer be able to regulate.

He cycled between physical and sexual abuse, depending on the child. Manipulation and verbal abuse were so common, it's hard to pinpoint when the shaming began and the humiliation ended.

He was well respected in every congregation we were a part of, be it in California, Idaho, or Washington. His opinion was frequently sought, and his callings, offered to him through inspired church leaders, were usually quite visible. These men of God had the power of the holy priesthood in every place we lived. Through their power of discernment, the Holy Ghost aided them in selecting my father as a prominent member and teacher.

So while he was molesting his daughters at home, he bore sincere testimony over the pulpit. He may have beaten his children with a belt, but always answered appropriately to his worthiness interviews and maintained good standing within the church.

This allowed him to attend the temple, a sacred privilege only available to those willing to keep their promises to God. He was faithful to the very end. 

His last calling was as a Bishop of a college congregation at BYU Idaho. He frequently met with the young adults to discuss their sexual activity. If the actions of these college students warranted, he would appeal to other male authorities. These men  would then discuss at length the sexual nature of the students' actions, and deliver consequences accordingly.

He's dead now. Many attended his funeral, informing his family of the influence he had on them. I could only smile and nod. To me, he was a monster, his cruelty reinforced by a church that sanctioned him every step of the way.