Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Run It Out

I have a couple of ever-present goals in life. Of course the ultimate goal is charity, but in the mean time I am also striving to be legitimate, classy, and a master of my own emotions. The first- legitimacy- is just that whatever I do, I'd like to do it well. Whether my job is to add toppings to waffles or help missionaries prepare to teach the Gospel, it's important to me to leave a respectable impression. The second- being classy- is really just because I love tasteful people. And let's get real, every girl secretly wishes to be classified with Audrey Hepburn.

     Yes I know, I'm almost there. You've met your match, Audrey.

Anyway, the third mentioned goal- master of my own emotions! is slightly tricky because they keep changing. What once bothered me affects me no longer, and what I was once indifferent to now leaves me rather ruffled. This also ties into handling difficult situations well. For example, tonight a sister in the mtc was talking about some rather non-missionary related topics in the hallway. I pulled her aside and honestly gently corrected her. It was crazy- the tension immediately became so thick I could have cut it with a knife. (Luckily they don't let us bring those to work) Thankfully, I remained quiet while she went off on who knows what and told me it wasn't my place to correct her. (Here's the crazy thing- it's not only my place, it's my job chica) She said her piece, I encouraged her to read the white handbook (a booklet of guidelines for missionaries), she went off again, and then stormed away. I was so stunned after she left that I sat down for a solid 2-3 minutes and just stared at my computer screen. I had definitely held my ground when talking, or listening rather, with her, but afterward was just shocked. I think an earlier version of myself would have snapped back and come up with a few clever zingers to make her feel stupid, but I didn't. I barely said anything. And I wanted to cry a little bit- she was so mean! But- I thought to myself- crying will not only ruin my makeup, it will give me a headache. Running, however, will make me feel great and allow me a healthier option for sorting my thoughts. So, off to the BYU indoor track I went. Thankfully, I had the foresight this morning to pack a gym bag in case... well just in case I needed to run. I will never go without it again as it was a lifesaver today! I have had a few things on my mind lately (Let's get real, I always have a "few things on my mind") and so running was perfect. As I continued lap after lap in my earphone-induced solitude, I just ran it out. School, roommates, dating, not dating, good missionaries, bad missionaries, church callings, and then that old familiar feeling whenever I go to a gym- the good old glory days. And I always think the same thing, "I loved being fast. I should get fast again. Everyone has to start somewhere- from where I'm at is totally possible. I'm going to get fast again." As these thoughts progressed, they made their way back to this missionary, and the other things weighing on my mind. And it brought me back to a commitment to excellence. No one can stop me from being fast except me, and I also can't be stopped when it comes to standing for what is right. Because I am excellent, and I handle things well. Or will soon.