Thursday, August 30, 2012

Simple Goodness

I loved this video. It was a good reminder let the past be past, for myself, and for others.

There is something so healing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And yet, while it heals, it also inspires us to be better. We can let go of old scars and also look forward to a future of change and progression. It is so great!

 As I've taught at the MTC the past few weeks, my weaknesses have certainly come to the forefront. I feel like I just watch myself struggle as I try to teach these missionaries something I was never sure I had gotten right. However, I'm coming to understand the Gospel in new ways and also in ways that I knew, but needed to be reminded of. I also feel like I'm reminded fairly regularly that I have nothing on these missionaries- this is just as much, if not more, a learning process for me as well.

I guess the main point of this post is just to express gratitude. I'm grateful for our Savior, and for how His Atonement completes all that I lack (which, as time passes, seems to be a growing list). I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to learn and grow, and for a Heavenly Father that gives me those opportunities. Life is difficult, (and I haven't even experienced that much of it- woohoo 23!), but I feel like refinement is priceless.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Since When?

I'm not exactly sure how, or why, but somehow over the past year I keep finding myself in situations that really belong on a TV show. Except in this TV show of my life, my character keeps getting placed in situations that don't really correlate with the type of person she is.
I don't consider myself a diva. I like myself for sure, but I really think I'm pretty average. I'm nice enough, some people like me, some people don't... overall my place in a social situation is fairly unobtrusive.  So tell me why yesterday, more than once, I found myself in situations that screamed, "You, Miss Caitlan, are a jerk."
Per Exempio: A boy crossed my path as I was walking to my car, and stopped to say hello. I said hi back, and then asked where I knew him from (assuming he was wondering the same). He looked mildly surprised, but then politely responded that he had taken me on a date a little while back. The memory came back to me, and I really had no redeeming response.... I'm a chamipion!
It would be acceptable, nay- tolerable, if this hadn't happened more than once. I've felt like a tool multiple times in my life, but not recognizing someone I've gone out with is probably the worst. This and other similar events keep occurring-- where I don't remember people I have spent significant time with, I can barely tolerate a conversation with someone that I find annoying, or- I get chastised by an elderly employee of BYU for muttering, in less refined words, how cheated I feel by the bookstore (be it known that I still consider the bookstore and student housing the most prominent examples of monopoly and extortion in my life).

...Caitlan, the underqualified diva, at your service

Friday, August 17, 2012

Life Gets Better

I can't recall another time in my life where the reason I didn't do something was because I literally did not have time. Usually the reason is that I wasted time doing other things, and then when it came to it, I no longer had time. In the past few weeks, I haven't journaled, blogged, or even called people back because I literally could not. This was because of work.

I never intended to have more than one job at a time, and somehow wound up with 3 for a bit, and then for a few days actually had four. It was just the way it worked out, where I got less hours than expected from one job, then the same occurred with the second, and then when I went to apply for the third and tried to quit the first, my boss wouldn't let me! (What a treat- she pretended she couldn't hear me, even though I was standing right next to her. We ended up compromising at one shift a week) So, I was working these three jobs when the impression that now was the time to apply at the MTC came. I thought, "Ok, I've never felt a desire to work there, and I have enough jobs so..." But, a job at the MTC is fairly sought after and I know about 10 people who tried to get the job for every 1 that works there, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

Through no qualifying effort of my own, less than two weeks later I was offered the job. It was then that I allowed myself to be excited at the idea of working there. I teach at the MTC! Every day is a spiritual experience as I get to know these missionaries better and we learn about gospel. It is so neat! And it is fun- right now I have a group of 12 elders and they are so funny. I find random objects in my backpack every day after I leave (today it was a pair of scissors, yesterday I discovered a total of 8 plastic and metal spoons throughout) but we also have some of the most profound experiences. It is such a privilege to watch them grow and become better.

Anyway, I went from three crummy jobs to one fantastic one, almost overnight! In the same week, we also moved, and oh- what a blessing from above. I will post pictures, but we moved from a tiny 6 person apartment (3 bedrooms, 2 bath) to a glorious townhouse. Two floors, three bedrooms, a laundry room! Oh it is the best thing ever.

Between the new job and the new place, I have been a pretty happy camper. I'm looking forward to a good year. I hit my one year mark of being home from the mission this past Sunday, and all I can say is that it can only go up from here! And it's starting off right, I feel.