So, I decided somewhere around 9 (I don't know what kind of kid I was, don't ask) that I would break the mold and be older when I got married. And when I say older, I mean over 20. Because, at the time, being over 20 definitely meant older. I reached the golden age of 20 and scoffed at the idea that I thought it'd be a challenge to not be married by then. At 21 I was going on a mission, 22 on a mission, and then yesterday I turned 23. Still single, and still wondering when this age thing happened.
Maybe I'm in denial, but I don't feel like I would naturally be concerned about getting married. It'll come when it comes- I'm confident he's out there doing whatever, like me, and our paths will cross eventually. However, outside sources make it nearly impossible for the thought to escape my mind and it seems to be... not the primary source of my concern, but still fairly frequent. It is me, or the people that bring it up? I blame them.
I decided to write this post because the topic is inevitable. Every interview I've had with a church leader in the recent past, the leader has "reassured" me that, "he's out there somewhere." This consolation has been unsolicited, by the way.
I think that's my thing- where did all this sympathy come from? I think most would admit it's slightly unnerving when people start patting your shoulder, offering comforting/wise words, or telling you not to worry, you're great and have lots going for you! I keep wanting to respond, "Really, I'm fine! I... (how can I convince them I'm not bothered?) I am ok!" But I feel like that only invites more sympathy.
So, this main topic of LDS young adult conversation leads me to this- be it self-inflicted or caused by the comments of others, I guess I really would like to get married soon. Am I the product of a marriage hungry culture? Maybe. However, as unfounded as I think pressuring young 20-somethings to be married may be, I also don't place myself in the category of those who are anti-marriage simply to rebel against something. I guess I'm in the middle. Me getting married isn't a desperate mission, but I also don't see myself dating for any other reason.
Also, as a side note, it sure would be convenient to be done with the "just friends" dilemma (you know, where you wish someone would consider you as more than a friend, meanwhile hoping someone else knows you will never be more than friends. There is no winning, in my experience)
Ah Provo. Good night!