Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Coming Up for Air

A few weeks into the semester and my life is already a whirlwind. It seems like it always is, and I've had this long standing theory about myself that in some weird, subconscious way, I like being overwhelmed. Because I always am. And looking back, the only common thread I see in my life is me, so I must be the cause. In any event, life is crazy. Allow me to expound.
School. I love school. I love to learn. What I don't love is how classes keep moving forward when I need a break.
Teaching at the MTC continues to be an experience of its own. I realized that this is the first job I've ever had that legitimately matters, so when I have days where I go to school and work, I come home feeling pretty... full. The good news is this- I am finding my groove in teaching! My boss has told me over and over again to just be myself and let everything else fall in place, and what do you know- I've started just relaxing and being myself, and everything has fallen into place. It's crazy how people know what they're talking about.

So, this brings us to today. After a day full of classes, teaching, going to the climbing gym, I felt the need for some solace. I had planned to go to the temple Friday morning, but something inside decided that tonight would just be way better. And so, I went. As I was sitting in that peaceful atmosphere, I was shocked to realize how long it had been since the last time I was there. I was also met with other feelings of realizing how much I had missed being in the temple, and how, honestly more than any other place on earth, it really does feel like home. That's kind of how I work- I don't realize how much I've missed someone or something until I have it back and there's this strange combination of aching I haven't identified in the absence and then also gratitude for the returned presence.  Maybe relief is the word to describe that combo. Anyway, in the midst of all that is crazy in my life, the temple always provides a bit of solace. Somehow everything seems bearable and also not as overwhelming. True to the title of this post, being in the House of the Lord is like coming up for air. I always leave with a renewed sense of self, a determination to be better, and peace of mind about whatever craziness is going on in my life.

It's good to be so close.


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