Life isn't Fair

Fairly often, I come to this pleasant realization. Life isn't fair. Before you think this is going to be one of my emo posts, keep reading.

I have often felt that a belief and trust in God allows for all sorts of benefits. First of all, when we trust in Him, He can help us make decisions. I usually feel uninformed when it comes to making important choices. Do I know all of the background I should? How could I know how this will pan out? Will it pan out? Like getting married. Granted, I'm not even dating someone, but sometimes I think about making that kind of decision and almost have a panic attack. Then I remember that we can ask God, that He knows me better than I know myself, and when I put myself in the right place, He can help me to know the otherwise impossible.

Next, my life has rather gracefully fallen into place, starting most consciously with my mission. I hadn't eliminated the possibility, but I wasn't going for it either. A kind God helped me see that it would be a good option, and now I really can't imagine not having served. It has come to define nearly every facet of my life for the better.

Most recently, career opportunities have started to open up. This has been a mild source of anxiety for me for a while. When I made the choice to major in what I could be passionate about, I knew I was kind of snipping the ties to a profitable career path. But even as I type that it seems so ill-fitting to think I ever thought I belonged in a lucrative career simply for the purpose of affluence. Nope- I've come to decide that's my husband's job if I ever meet him! :) The way I see it, I will either be only providing for myself, or I will have my income combined with another's to provide for a family. And so- I am doing what I really want to do- humanitarian aid. This has been a bit of a step in the dark for me, but I love learning about it so much and really want to be an active part of helping others, so I'm just moving forward, hoping and praying it comes together. Events from the past week, whether they come to fruition or not, have helped me to know that God, so generously, has a hand in it. That He will help me. Uninformed, not necessarily deserving, and likely under-qualified as I am, I take comfort in knowing that I have a bit of assistance.

So, it's not fair. But, it is great, and I always accept help. :)

 

Whoever said you can't run from your problems...

... simply didn't have the right shoes. 

I know what you're thinking. "Those shoes kick a... lot of things." ;) And you're right. They do. These minimal heel Brooks champions were my birthday present from my parents this year. I got them Saturday and was pretty excited to try them out. Today ended up being one of those days where you just need a long run. Well, more like yesterday was, but it spilled over into this morning, and basically I woke up ready to test out these shoes and just run. After 6.5 miles, I felt better about life and also have a solid crush on my shoes. Who wouldn't feel like a baller wearing those? Look good, run good.

Along the same lines, my mom and I were talking about the therapeutic qualities of running. I often feel like I can't control everything in life that I'd like to. Or even when it comes to things I can control, I often make mistakes and they don't go as I intended. Allow me to tell you, nothing fuels a run like frustration or anxiety. Today I just kept going, running away from things that I don't like. Apparently there was enough to propel me for 3 miles. Not too bad, really. By the time I reached my destination, I felt like I had conquered something, and because I had conquered that, I could conquer the things I had originally run from. And so, the equidistant return was more of an achievement or even an affirmation of my ability to overcome. I came home feeling empowered, and also confident. Thanks Brooks, I love you. And I know you love me too.

Other things that I love include Banana Republic, Costco, and my new car, Legolas.

I didn't know I needed this dress until I saw it, and then immediately knew there was no leaving BR without it. 

The product of my accident over Christmas Break. Meet Legolas- mostly awesome and just a little bit girly. I love him. 

Target Audience

In a lot of classes I've taken, we talk about a "target audience." The people whose attention you are assuming you'll capture and retain. The people who will care about what you're trying to share. Common interests, if you will. Basically- the ones you would like to win over.

Tell me why, my whole life, I haven't been able to quite get this "target audience" right when it comes to stunning people with my personality or dashing good looks. Allow me to proceed with examples.

I spend all day on a campus full of young adult men. Most of my coworkers are young adult men. Many of my friends are, you guessed it, young adult men. This, ladies and gentleman, is my target audience hopeful.

However, it is only when I go to the Reading Office at the MTC, employed by senior couples, that a woman stops mid answering-my-relevant-question to tell me that I should go out with her son, and that my appearance would really do a lot for their gene pool. Points for being clever, old woman, but no points for your son that never called.

Or perhaps when I went to the TRC, another office at the MTC employed by senior couples, that an elderly man shakes my hand and starts asking me questions about myself. Never letting go of my hand, he steps closer, tells me I am beautiful, and asks for my number so that his grandson can go out with me in his place.

How about the most recent? I am in the temple, asking a senior sister a few questions that are related to the situation at hand. Instead of answering, she comments on my great complexion. I say thank you, and again ask the original question. Instead of answering, she reached out and touched my face and hair, commented again on my coloring, and really never responded to the beginning inquiry.

I do appreciated the compliments, really. I mean, who doesn't like it when someone says nice things? But I'm starting to feel like I'm writing an arctic ice climbing article for a knitting magazine. I need to come at this from another angle so that I can address the audience I'm intending to sway- that is, the young adult male. It would be super great if they would stop mid-sentence and tell me I was breath taking.

Sweet dreams are made of these.

Flighting

Flirt fighting -> flighting.

The age old way to get someone's attention. It begins in elementary school, when the boy steals your pencil case.  You get so mad and threaten "to tell". But secretly, you love that he even noticed your pencil case.

It progresses. In middle school, you tease each other about test scores or make fun of each other at track practice. Same thing. Pretending you hate each other, but caring enough to still talk to them or get their notice.

High school the game continues, but it's slightly more intelligent. A battle of wits, a dis on the kind of music they like, or even commenting on their clothes. Still flighting.

And onto college. Here is where we digress. Perhaps because we've had all this experience with flighting, we're ok at any level. Back to stealing things. Back to teasing each other because we have nothing else to say. Flight on, young adults, flight on.

Mocktail from Now On

Last night Jessie and I had a combined birthday party.

It. was. awesome.

Fairly simple, but I think it turned out pretty well. We told everyone it was 1920s themed, and that we would be serving mocktails. So basically we dressed up and drank virgin pina coladas and strawberry daquiries, and had a great time. :)

Jessie and I wore tiaras. It was our birthdays, after all.

Us with a few dapper gentlemen who stopped in.

Something Positive

Earlier today a friend and I were discussing the content of our blog posts and I realized I should post something positive. The last few posts have been rather somber. Or at least less than cheerful.

Things have actually been pretty good lately, outside of dating anyway. Just a short few points on the matter- I have had the opportunity to run into a couple close friends I haven't seen in a while, and when the question inevitably comes up (not that I'm avoiding it- I obviously love the topic of dating and what I do and don't love about it) it's slightly comical because nothing. has. changed. The names are different but the situation is really the same: A few boys here and there- some I am interested in, some that are interested in me. That one that things almost happened with but it ended up not working out, which has caused a new list of self realizations and goals for next time. A few insignificant, but still worth mentioning updates on, long standing crushes in the mean time. Yep. Always the same.

In my classes we talk about data and the ability to predict the future with it. Somewhat cynically but mostly amused, based on the given data I can surmise what the coming semester will bring. Let us look forward to the same things! And so it goes. At least I always have a good story to tell!

In other news, my life has taken a turn for the awesome. A scary car wreck on Christmas Eve lead to a brand new car (as in, I am the first to drive it!) and an experience with the miraculous healing power of the priesthood. Long story short, I had whiplash that was so painful I was on the brink of tears all day every day. I received a blessing, and by the end of the next day, the pain was gone and hasn't returned since. Truth! (lds.org)

I LOVE love love my classes. Sociology is the best thing that has happened to me in terms of BYU classes, and I am also extremely pleased with my International Development minor. It is fascinating and I am always looking forward to lecture. I am glad I didn't just stick it out with one of the previous majors I tried simply because I am so legitimately pleased with this course of study. So what I'll be almost 25 when I get my undergrad- I will be as happy as can be on my way there. :)

Also, I am still so in love with our little townhouse. And my roommates are awesome- 4 rad RMs just living life.

And lastly- the last district I had was probably the most adoring I've had yet. That's not my goal for them- I of course want them to grow as missionaries and develop their testimonies as much as possible. But I do kind of love when they love me. :) This is one of the comments one of the missionaries left that made me laugh and think, "Haha yes, I love this part of my job."

"Sister De Arton is the absolute best teacher that the MTC has! She made my experience the best experience possible at the MTC. She listened to the spirit and "punched my soul" (in a good way) with the spirit. I loved having class with her every day!"

So, all in all, I have much to be grateful for. And at least my little baby missionaries always provide some sunshine. :)