Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Life isn't Fair

Fairly often, I come to this pleasant realization. Life isn't fair. Before you think this is going to be one of my emo posts, keep reading.

I have often felt that a belief and trust in God allows for all sorts of benefits. First of all, when we trust in Him, He can help us make decisions. I usually feel uninformed when it comes to making important choices. Do I know all of the background I should? How could I know how this will pan out? Will it pan out? Like getting married. Granted, I'm not even dating someone, but sometimes I think about making that kind of decision and almost have a panic attack. Then I remember that we can ask God, that He knows me better than I know myself, and when I put myself in the right place, He can help me to know the otherwise impossible.

Next, my life has rather gracefully fallen into place, starting most consciously with my mission. I hadn't eliminated the possibility, but I wasn't going for it either. A kind God helped me see that it would be a good option, and now I really can't imagine not having served. It has come to define nearly every facet of my life for the better.

Most recently, career opportunities have started to open up. This has been a mild source of anxiety for me for a while. When I made the choice to major in what I could be passionate about, I knew I was kind of snipping the ties to a profitable career path. But even as I type that it seems so ill-fitting to think I ever thought I belonged in a lucrative career simply for the purpose of affluence. Nope- I've come to decide that's my husband's job if I ever meet him! :) The way I see it, I will either be only providing for myself, or I will have my income combined with another's to provide for a family. And so- I am doing what I really want to do- humanitarian aid. This has been a bit of a step in the dark for me, but I love learning about it so much and really want to be an active part of helping others, so I'm just moving forward, hoping and praying it comes together. Events from the past week, whether they come to fruition or not, have helped me to know that God, so generously, has a hand in it. That He will help me. Uninformed, not necessarily deserving, and likely under-qualified as I am, I take comfort in knowing that I have a bit of assistance.

So, it's not fair. But, it is great, and I always accept help. :)


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