All of these dates have two common threads, and I would like to discuss them.
Thread number 1- plans. When someone asks me on a date, I have in mind that there is something happening that they would like me to be a part of. I figure there is something they want us to do, hence them calling me specifically for the occasion.
When I get in the car/to the apartment, and he turns to me and asks, "So what do you want to do?" I have to bite my tongue before I say something rude. If I had no filter, I would say something like, "Well, now I want to go home. Why don't you call me when you have something planned, mm?" Instead, I say, "Um... well, um... hm. I'm not sure." What am I supposed to say?! I don't know what his price range is, and it catches me totally off guard. These things require advanced planning. I mean, what was he hoping for? That I would say, "Oh yeah! Sure I just so happen to have this perfect idea! You know what, I can't even think of what that idea would be while I'm blogging afterward about how dumb going on a date with you was!" I mean, I guess I can have some sympathy and figure they're trying to put me first and do what I want. They could have asked me beforehand though, so actually no- I have no sympathy. All no plans says to me is that you didn't put very much effort into taking me out, and I respect you less for it.
It would be funny if that hadn't happened more than once.
Thread number 2- dinner. If the date is between 5 and 8, I do not think it is unreasonable that I would expect dinner. I'm just saying. If you drop me off hungry, I won't be saying yes if you ask again. What I don't understand is how someone can ask me on a date, take me out at dinner time, be unsure of what we should do, and not take me to dinner.
Haha so I'm thinking of creating some sort of screening test for my dates (assuming I get any more, that is. The feast may be over, it could be time for the famine). It could be like a process of elimination though. "If you answer no to any of the following questions, then my answer is no for going out with you. Do you have actual plans for the date? Will you feed me? Are you going to talk about something besides your mission? Will you actually listen to what I have to say? Alright then. Your time, and possibly money, would be better spent elsewhere. Go find a freshman. Thank you."
I guess the good news is that it won't be too difficult for someone to impress me. If you have the date planned, you take me to dinner when appropriate, and can have a good conversation, haha I will think you are a rock star.
Dude. Guys that don't have something planned deserve to have something rude said to them. I support you in that.
ReplyDeleteWHAT?! I know it's a hard transition from "hanging out" to "dating", but COME ON. You don't know what you're doing? Isn't that the point of a date-- doing something? You shouldn't be able to get away with no plan until you're engaged. And you should never be able to get away with not eating.
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