Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Paradigm... Shift

Last week was so full of life I forgot to pay the bills. I never went running. I was always short on sleep. And I cried twice.

Crying is an interesting thing. For me it's when the emotions are past words and I feel so much, it can't be expressed any other way. I'm pretty good with my words, so I don't cry super often. If I can articulate, there will not be tears.

But this week I had an experience or two past words. The first is that I witnessed a baby being born. I arrived at the hospital right as my sister began her final pushes. First of all it was something else to see a child come into this world. It took it to a whole new level to have the giver of life be my little sister. Add the fact that the adoptive parents were standing by and I really had no words. I just cried, and I didn't even really know why. The baby was so beautiful, the adoptive parents were so happy, my sister just had a life altering experience. Life- life was happening in this room. And I couldn't find words.

I think it was all the emotions combined into one experience. The pregnancy that had initially been so upsetting to me was now a miracle and the source of painstakingly long awaited and well deserved joy. I think I was overwhelmed at Heavenly Father's ability to smooth over a situation and turn it into a blessing, and that little girl was seriously one of the most beautiful beings I've ever seen! Just watching her yawn completely melted my heart. And my little sister's strength was humbling. It's possible that my ice-shielded heart is trying to thaw.

There was more. But I am tired. I did, however come to the conclusion as to why I blog. I blog because I would love to have someone to tell about my day. For the moment, that is you, ambiguous online crowd. Watch my life.


  1. Yay for blogging! At least I know that I love to read your blogs! Keep going! :)

  2. thanks for sharing. beautiful.